05/28/2012
Cardinals 8 Braves 2
Dear Lance Lynn,
Thank you for not annoying me to pieces yesterday using your (four-seam) fastball yesterday.
Batters typically do not hit your heater. I have no idea why you were PLAYING AROUND in your previous starts and tossing beach ball-looking pitches when you have a pitch hitters flail at like it's crossing the plate a Mach 4.
Anyway, great job. You are the league's first eight game winner, so I'll say you are a very good "replacement Carp." Shoot, Carp had, like, seven losses by this time last year, I think. (Which, granted, was due to run support issues.)
'Til Later
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